It’s not a contest – Kardelen Köker
Kardelen is one of those who determines her own truth and directs her life in the direction she believes in. She glides through life by creating her own flow with her own instincts. She wanders in moments where she can touch, every obscurity brought by the flow as a new experience. It’s not a contest, but Kardelen is trying to find the best version of herself.
What was the turning point for you?
During the pandemic, I did not leave the house for ninety days and was alone with myself for the first time in my life. I constantly questioned my motive to go the right way and focused on what “right” really means. “Right” is not the “thing” on which labour, time is spent, which will be welcomed by society or which will be more important than you at any point. Sometimes instincts and dreams get in the way of all the paths travelled, and no experience ever leaves you just because you change your path. This realisation was my turning point, enabling me to leave my 15 years of conservatory education and start my journey of producing my own music.
How did you realise what you want to be in life, how much do your professional decisions match your personality?
When I was very young, I used to take my sister’s or my mother’s dresses, fold them, put their high heels on my feet and give concerts in front of the mirror. Although I can still give concerts in front of real audiences now, if I have a concert that I am very excited about, I perform the same ritual and it reminds me very well of myself and what I want. I think it is a divine support to see all my family members, including myself, on stage from a very young age. It was never a surprise to be on stage, but at the same time, it didn’t diminish the acceleration of my heart and this sweet thrill.
What does the future mean to you?
I think there is something attractive about this “unknown”. It is an unknown future that I prefer to live instead of talking about it, that I aim to determine my own conditions instead of adapting to them. Maybe I spend my life preparing myself for that unknown future, which I don’t know, which I’m not sure whether I’ll ever see or not, where everything I risk to be happy and peaceful has consequences, and I do this without knowing whether it will have a definite payoff or not. I think this exactly is the craziest part of us as human beings.
How much space do the feelings of winning and losing occupy in your life?
Perhaps the biggest injustice I do to myself is not experiencing these two feelings properly. When I devote a long period of time to these feelings, I feel as if I have something to catch up on and I’m stalling. It’s like trying to do better when you make a good song. I immediately move on to the next one without giving myself the joy and gain of making a good song. On the other hand, I am afraid that the feeling of loss will rule me and I don’t make peace with that feeling. In fact, at the end of the day, we have to assume that time passes faster than we think and we need to review the time we allocate to all our emotions, this is the case for me personally.
What can you describe yourself as a “winner” when it happens?
Whenever I feel healthy and peaceful at any point in my life, I feel that I have won. Whenever I can spend time for myself or share my time with the people I love, I feel that I have won. I don’t think there is a win in terms of work. I think the comfort one can provide for oneself in one’s individual life is the biggest win.
Creative Direction and Interview by Duygu Bengi
Fashiıon Direction by Burak Sanuk
Photography by Mesut Adlin
Fashiıon Editor Murat Şentürk
Make Up by Birce Selcik
Hair by Rıdvan Deniz
Creative Production by BI Creative
Creative Team Belgin Demirhan, Şevval Küçüktır, Tunga Yankı Tan, Umutcan Öncü
Hair & Make Up Assistant Hatice Sayın